THE ART OF DOOMED SEDUCTION.

Do not combine with alcohol unless prescribed by your doctor
Do not open until purchased
Do not rest on glass
Do not open when hot
Do not use if seal is broken
Do not feed the seagulls
Tampering with body will result in voiding of warranty
Do not dispose of in fire

~ Friday, January 20 ~
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Master Dating Tip #128: It’s just casual. That will be okay!

Master Dating Tip #128: It’s just casual. That will be okay!


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Anonymous asked: When approached by a guy at a bar what is the best way to get out of the conversation when you would rather not talk to someone you don't know?

“I am very interested please ravage me now, you handsome beast”


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~ Thursday, January 19 ~
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Master Dating Tip #127: Show men your dating blog, hope that it makes you look witty and cute, instead of the harsh reality of neurotic and insane. They won’t notice a thing.

Master Dating Tip #127: Show men your dating blog, hope that it makes you look witty and cute, instead of the harsh reality of neurotic and insane.

They won’t notice a thing.


~ Wednesday, January 18 ~
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Master Dating Tip #126: Alternatively, wait by the phone, constantly check your e-mails, text messages, Facebook inbox, work e-mail, home phone, Twitter and Facebook newsfeed to see whether your guy is ignoring you or not.

Master Dating Tip #126: Alternatively, wait by the phone, constantly check your e-mails, text messages, Facebook inbox, work e-mail, home phone, Twitter and Facebook newsfeed to see whether your guy is ignoring you or not.


~ Tuesday, January 17 ~
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Master Dating Tip #125: Only ever call him 2 days after the last time he called you. Communication? HAH! You’ll just seem desperate!

Master Dating Tip #125: Only ever call him 2 days after the last time he called you. Communication? HAH! You’ll just seem desperate!


~ Monday, January 16 ~
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Master Dating Tip #124: Watch Sex and the City, use it as a form of couples counselling, or dating advice.

Master Dating Tip #124: Watch Sex and the City, use it as a form of couples counselling, or dating advice.


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~ Sunday, January 15 ~
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Master Dating Tip #123: Stack dates on top of each other. Why do laundry when you can wear your perfect date outfit to a date at 10am, another at 1pm, and a third at 4pm?

Master Dating Tip #123: Stack dates on top of each other. Why do laundry when you can wear your perfect date outfit to a date at 10am, another at 1pm, and a third at 4pm?


~ Saturday, January 14 ~
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Anonymous asked: I have a heavy work load and cannot afford getting sick, so am I being rude by not coddling my bf while he is sick?

You should love him enough to risk your health, job and income for some cuddles.

XOXO MD


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Master Dating Tip #122: Sleep with ALL the douchebags!

Master Dating Tip #122: Sleep with ALL the douchebags!


~ Friday, January 13 ~
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Master Dating Tip #121: Every male you’re interested in is a hell sick chick magnet.

Master Dating Tip #121: Every male you’re interested in is a hell sick chick magnet.